Unrestrained action

The definition of the word "indulge" is unrestrained action.  That pretty much sums up a long period of my life.  I was looking to feel good and to find someone else to be the "strong one" in my life.  I hate having to be the strong one!  I want to defer to someone else.  I want to cuddle up in the arms of someone stronger and bigger than me.  I'll spare you the details, but off and on for years I had unrestrained action, putting it all out there to "feel good" and get rid of pain.  Ask me how that worked out for me! NOT so well!!  I am alone and have heaped more scar tissue into my life and my children's lives.  Isn't it funny how we call it a feel good and in reality it only feels good for a moment and then brings more pain that lasts a lot longer.  Since the time I was 13, my "feel good" has been men.  I crave affirmation from men.  Maybe because I didn't get much from my Dad.  Most people don't know this about me.  It has been a battle.  I don't feel good about myself unless I have affirmation from a man or someone.  I don't think I am beautiful unless someone tells me I am.  I don't think I am valuable unless I am in a relationship with a man.  Get the point?  No man can fill that hole!  Marty couldn't, and he was a great man.  That is a God spot to fill!  I don't care what your craving is, it can be food, alcohol, or men; realize right now what you are seeking can only be filled by GOD!  These cravings are tricky.  It has taken me years to call it for what it is, it is idolatry and fleshly living!  Ten commandments, #1!!  Putting other things in my heart before God is idolatry. Fleshly living is when I allow my cravings to rule my behavior.  As a Christian I am supposed to be more disciplined than that. 

"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.  Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God."  Romans 8: 5-8 NIV

Note what those verses say:

•  A mind that is ruled by the flesh = death.  Not fleshly desires = fun, freedom, needs met, happy living...all the things the world tries to convince of us of!

•  A mind governed by the Spirit, meaning God and His principles = life and peace.  So not the world's message!  I will find life and peace if I follow God, not by satisfying my fleshly cravings.
• Our lives are governed by our minds.  The battlefield is in our mind!  Focus your mind and the behaviors will follow.  Set your mind on Godly things and your cravings will change.  Mine have!

The net net:  Crave your relationship with God first and foremost, it is truly where life and peace can be found.  I have found in my life that when all else is taken away...God remains and He is faithful to supply and meet all my needs.  Craving Him does not bring backlash, it brings a deeper lasting "feel good".  Go to the source my friends, He will not disappoint.  :)